My Journey

I was a gregarious yet sensitive child often seeking solace in nature, creating my own fantasy worlds. Obsessed with fairies, I would build tiny dens and leave offerings, flower potions, and grass skirts, hoping they would reveal themselves to me. I wholeheartedly believed in magic and spent countless hours making special elixirs to revive featherless baby birds that had fallen from their nests, carrying them in the pockets of my dresses, much to my mum’s dismay!

I excelled in the arts and languages, which led me to pursue a BA in French and Spanish at university, but the '90s rave scene seduced me, and I found myself abandoning academia in favour of psychedelics and techno. During my first solo psilocybin trip, while gazing at my reflection in a mirror, I saw myself as the universe looking at itself. In that moment I woke up, the illusion of the separate self shattered. The experience changed the course of my life. My degree no longer made sense. My hunger to know had shifted from intellectual pursuits to an all-consuming quest for self-discovery.

The Path of Healing Begins
One Sunday, a friend dragged me to a holistic fair. Sceptical but curious, I noticed a woman offering reflexology taster sessions. She had an open and intriguing energy, so I approached her. After the session, she asked if she could channel Reiki for me; I agreed. Within minutes, powerful waves of energy were coursing through my body, lifting me into a blissful state. As I came back to myself, I had an overwhelming knowing: “It is possible to heal.” Within a week, I had found a Reiki 1 training, and while my friends went to the pub on Friday evenings, I hung out at Reiki circles.

At 24, I travelled to Southeast Asia with my partner. During a 10-day Vipassana retreat in Nepal, I had my second awakening. It was a pivotal moment when I was faced with a choice: dedicate myself to self-realisation at the monastery or follow the path of relationship. At that young age, I believed it was an either/or decision, so I chose the latter.

We travelled to Northern India, where I spent two weeks with a Reiki Grand Master, earning my Reiki Master degree, unknowingly pregnant with my first child. I had also discovered Ayurveda and intended to study it in Kerala, but the instinct to nest for my baby took precedence.

Back home as a new mother, I felt called to deepen my healing work by learning bodywork to complement my Reiki practice. I went on to study ITEC Diplomas in Anatomy and Physiology, Swedish Massage, Reflexology, and Indian Head Massage, laying a strong foundation for the hands-on work that would become an integral part of my path. I launched my first mobile business, Rainbow Healing, which allowed my work and motherhood to unfold side by side, giving me the freedom to care for my daughter while growing my career.

During my second pregnancy, I stumbled upon an advert in Kindred Spirit magazine for a Shamanic Practitioner Training at Shamanka, the School of Women’s Shamanism. The moment I saw it, I lit up.

Stepping Into My Calling
I called Eliana Harvey, the course elder, and poured out my story. She listened, then said, “You absolutely must come to the next course. Don’t worry about the money; it will come.” I trusted. Not long after the birth of my son, I embarked on the intense three-year training that took me deeper into myself than I ever imagined possible. I was initiated as Bear Dancer Dreaming and invited to apprentice with Eliana at Middle Piccadilly, where she had been offering Shamanic healing for decades. In her 80s and preparing to retire from her therapy work, she took me under her wing.

For seven magical years at Middle Piccadilly, I passionately threw myself into my role as a Shamanka and bodywork practitioner, honing my craft and facilitating profound healing work for my clients. During this time, I developed Emergence, a three-day 1:1 intensive retreat drawing creatives and professionals from all over the country who were feeling burnt out, blocked, or seeking radical change. The retreat offered a blend of spiritual mentoring, shamanic practice, and bodywork. It was within this container that I began to see the true essence of my work taking shape. Supporting others through their deep processes ignited a sense of awe within me, bringing with it a profound sense of purpose and clarity about the work I’m here to do.

Alongside my work at Middle Piccadilly, I continued to expand my shamanic knowledge, training with Simon and Naomi of The Sacred Trust and Betsy Bergstrom. I also trained in Movement Medicine with Ya’akov and Susannah Darling Khan, and Caroline Carey, and studied Holotropic Breathwork. In my late thirties, I joined a Zen sangha and wore black entirely for two years. On one silent retreat over New Year, I experienced my third awakening: a total dissolution of self into pure, boundless love. For two weeks, I floated around in awe, enchanted by the simplest things.

After leaving Middle Piccadilly, I founded Bear Paw Natural Therapies and Dreaming Bear Shamanic Circles, where I led monthly journeying and drumming groups in the local community. I also created Lionheart Egyptian Mysteries, a six-week healing course for women, guiding a journey of heart-awakening rooted in the ancient wisdom of the Egyptian Neteru.

Then, COVID-19 struck. A strange, undeniable pull began stirring within me, an urge to let go of everything I had created, including any notion I had of ‘me’. I started selling my belongings, my drums, my beloved books; something deep within me was preparing for a great shift. I didn’t yet understand why, only that I had to trust the guidance of my inner compass.

A Brush with Death
During the COVID heatwave, I suddenly became ill, experiencing an exhaustion unlike anything I had known before. One night, I woke up choking. My body was burning up, my heart racing uncontrollably. I knew I was dying.
In that moment, a thought arose: “Death cannot touch me, for I am eternal.”

At sunrise, I drove myself to A&E. The diagnosis: raging hyperthyroidism. My body was in overdrive. I was prescribed beta blockers to steady my heart rate, but the existential crisis remained.

Yoga Nidra became my lifeline. I practised for hours a day and chanted seed mantras for my heart and throat. Then, one evening, after a particularly intense practice, something ‘popped’ in my throat. A wave of bliss washed over me. I knew I was healed. The next morning, my goitre had vanished, and within a few weeks, my thyroid returned to normal function, much to the specialist’s surprise.

In that liminal space, I prayed fervently, trusting that Spirit would show me the way forward. Then, one morning, a single word came like a spark: Ayurveda. I knew that moment, I had to return to India.

The Journey to Kerala
In January 2024, having sold most of my belongings, I flew to Kerala on a one-way ticket to study at the School of Ayurveda and Panchakarma. Before beginning my formal training, I undertook a full month-long Panchakarma detox, both to address my chronic health issues and to gain first-hand experience of the process. It was gruelling but deeply transformative. By the end, my back pain had considerably improved, my joints had stopped cracking, and follow-up tests showed no signs of pernicious anaemia. The basal cell carcinomas I once developed have not returned to this day.

I went on to complete a three-month intensive training in Panchakarma therapy and Ayurvedic consultancy. Despite the relentless heat and demanding schedule, I thrived on the challenge and graduated with distinction. When my studies came to an end, I felt a clear pull to return to the UK. It felt right to bring everything I had lived and learnt back home to take root in familiar soil.

Every practice I’ve learnt since that very first Reiki healing, every therapy I’ve trained in, and every wisdom tradition that has shaped me is fully alive within me now, not just as knowledge, but as embodied experience. My journey has been my deepest initiation, and now I offer, in service, all that I have walked through, healed, and become.

And I know there will be more…