Thoughts on Not Feeling Good Enough
For years, I carried so much unconscious pain around not being good enough. If someone made a comment that touched that wound, I would translate it to mean that they didn’t understand me or see me, and that belief would send me into deep emotional turmoil.
It created a subtle but fierce distrust and resentment towards certain people. I would avoid them and the spaces they might show up in. I realise now this was a way to keep myself grounded and safe, but over time, my world got smaller and smaller.
Out of the four cornerstones I teach in my holistic wellness work with clients, Body, Diet nad Lifestyle, Emotional Wellbeing, and Spiritual Embodiment, it’s the emotional wellbeing piece that has personally been the most challenging and the one I’ve had to work the hardest to embody.
Like many of us Gen Xers, I wasn’t taught how to manage overwhelming feelings. I literally had no tools... so I dissociated. Shut down. Became a massive avoidant! But these deep traumas had already lodged themselves into my body and would hijack me when I least expected it.
Sometimes the emotional swings would take me (and an unassuming partner!) completely by surprise, and I would explode with rage, cutting off heads like my life was in danger.
It wasn’t until I began working deeply with Shamanism, Himalayan Yoga Nidra, and heart-connection practices that I started to find some ground. These practices helped me begin to feel safe. To soften the internal charge. To be present with the energies moving through me, without letting them rule me.
Heart-align meditation and Yoga Nidra are now my steady lifelines, and I use these practices most days.
The truth is, learning to self-regulate does take effort, because these patterns run deep. Memories live in the body. And if left unexamined, they can continue to shape how we see the world, ourselves, and others. But with consistent practice, we begin to interrupt the cycle.
Not by forcing ourselves into “positive thinking.” But by learning how to stay in the all-powerful heart.
That’s the real foundation of emotional intelligence.
It’s about staying present with your own heart.
In my work, I guide others in cultivating this kind of emotional fluency through heart-brain coherence, somatic self-awareness, and nervous system regulation, so they can build true inner resilience and live from a more harmonious, heart-led place.
If this speaks to something in you, I see you. Please get in touch.