Musing on my Dream Last Night
Last night, I dreamt of a small dog with bloodied, mangled feet. It belonged to an old woman who seemed a bit batty and confused. She didn’t seem aware of what had happened to her dog and seemed indifferent, not out of cruelty but because her mind couldn’t grasp it.
I held the little creature close, knowing instinctively that if I put it down, it would not survive. It made no sound, yet I could feel its pain, silent and deep. And then, suddenly, I noticed its feet were gone. I searched under the fur, but they had vanished! The old woman turned to me with suspicion.
"You took them!” she accused, her voice now sharp and clear.
I shook my head, bewildered. But when I reached into the deep pockets of my summer dress, there they were, only they were no longer the dog’s feet but tiny, baby’s feet.
Shock gripped my stomach. I knew I hadn’t taken them. The old woman transformed before my eyes into a wicked old witch, her confusion turning to malevolence as she brandished a knife and lashed at me.
I ran…the dog was no longer in my arms.
This morning, as I muse on this dream, I wonder, how often do we reach out to help, only for it to backfire? How many times have we extended kindness and been met with blame, rejection, or even attack?
And what of the unseen motives beneath our giving? Do we help because our hearts overflow, or because, somewhere deep inside, we believe we know better? Because it makes us feel needed? Because it reassures us of our goodness?
The ego is subtle. Especially those of us who walk the path as healers must be wary of its quiet hunger. If we are attached to an outcome, if we need someone to change, to heal, to be grateful, to validate us, then our giving is not truly giving. It is taking.
True service is empty-handed. It seeks nothing in return.
When we move from a place of pure offering, unattached and humble, the divine moves through us. When someone is just not ready to receive, we must be willing to step back with grace and let them learn their lessons, even if we know they will suffer. It is all in God's hands.
